The Sitting Duck

Today, as part of my awareness practice, I decided to perform a random act of kindness in the form of courteous driving. I would politely let someone cut in front of me instead of doing what most drivers around here usually do — speed up and pretend they don’t see the car that’s trying to merge into their lane.

Since I’m still on jury duty and it’s a long drive to and from the courthouse, mostly on freeways, I thought this would be an easy task. But habits are hard to break. Somehow I managed to drive 30 miles without once letting someone cut in front of me. Aggressive driving — or shall we say, “assertive” driving — is a survival skill in these parts. It’s as hard to drop this skill as it would be for a boxer to stop blocking punches.

I was on my way home and had just gotten off the freeway, when I saw a monster pickup truck in the lane to my right. We were waiting at a red light. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the driver trying to get my attention.

I thought he wanted to cut in front of me. Sometimes people do ask before they try it.

“Ah, finally,” I thought, “here’s my chance to be kind.”

But when I looked over at him, he just grinned and stared at me lasciviously. For the next few minutes, I had to drive with this perv ogling me from the next lane. I practiced kindness by not giving him the finger.

The story doesn’t end there.

Minutes later, just a few blocks from home, I finally saw a real chance to let someone cut in front of me. They had their signal on and they were waiting for an opening. I slowed down to let this car in. Just as I was feeling awesome about this, the car behind me honked and sped around me, the driver clearly pissed off that my act of kindness was slowing him down.

Okay, that annoyed me for a second. But then I laughed. This whole situation — trying to be kind while driving and having my efforts thwarted, one after another — was pretty funny. I realized that if I can laugh at what happens on the road, I’m disidentified, and that’s an act of kindness toward myself.