The Sitting Duck

Readers of this blog have probably noticed that I’ve been posting less frequently lately. This is not because I haven’t been practicing. Quite the opposite.

But yes, my motivation to keep writing this blog has certainly waned, and I recently decided to discontinue it. Of course, conditioning immediately jumped in to tell me that I’m a quitter and just another statistic to add to the growing number of Abandoned Blogs. “Told you this would happen!” Blah blah blah…

I almost got sucked in to that conversation. As I was pondering my decision, Cheri Huber’s monthly e-mail newsletter landed in my inbox. She had recently decided to give up the day-to-day responsibilities of running the monastery in order to focus more on the parts of practice that she loved and wanted to spend more time doing. In addition, she announced that she would soon be offering a daily practice blog on Facebook.

This was all I needed to hear. I felt completely at peace with my decision to discontinue my blog.

When I was thinking about what to write in my last post, how to explain my change in direction, I came across a parable in the Cheri Huber book I’m currently reading, When You’re Falling, Dive, that perfectly describes my experience:

A student came to a master seeking freedom from suffering. The master gave the student a fish and sent her into her room to observe it. A few moments later the student, excited about the prospect of enlightenment, dashed out to report the length, breadth, and color of the fish. The master explained that that wasn’t what he meant by paying attention. The kind of observation he had in mind is much more than a quick perusal; it’s being deeply aware of and present with the object. Back the student went. An hour later she returned with more information. Again the teacher rejected her superficial examination. The next day the scenario was repeated, and the next, and the next. Finally, the teacher realized the student had not appeared for quite some time and sent a monk to fetch her. When the monk knocked on the door, the student called out, “Please go away. I’m very busy observing.”

Thank you to everyone who has read and responded to my blog. I am filled with deep gratitude.

Gassho,

The Sitting Duck